Why still India does not win? – A satire

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Indian Hockey Federation left no stone unturned this time. In the run up to the Sultan Azlan Shah competition, it did everything possible for forging a winning combination. Yet surprisingly India did not do well at KL. No National Federation would have done anything more than what the IHF did for the team and its cause. Some of the steps that the parent body took include:


For the first time in 12 years IHF fixed the tenure of coach.


To keep transparency the whole country was told coach Rajnder Singh Jr. will be for one tournament only. No confusion whatsoever at all.


The IHF have taken up the noble objective of making every former Olympian a former national coach. Azlan Shah helped to add one more to the already long list.


No haste in announcing probables and no hassles if some more are added at IHF’s will. In order not to disturb the coaches’ mental composure, IHF took the sole responsibility of selecting probables and even the team.


To avoid selection controversy, selectors were called within two days after the training camp started and the trails were conducted on third and fourth day of the training camp. Selectors were also extremely happy to oblige us.


The 18-member team was thus selected on a record time, in a lightening speed indeed.


Coach was given total freedom thereafter to train the players the way he wanted. We never interfered.


Usually as the training days progress, the Indian coaches develop a bad habit of asking for more players. This time too Rajinder Singh Jr. wanted four or five players, which we did not allow because coach should be first disciplined.


Coach and players waste their time in interacting with media. We have therefore closed the doors and conducted the whole camp in camera in Delhi.


One photographer tried to take a shot of coach Rajinder Singh. We thrashed him.


We tried to hold the Azlan tournament too in camera so that our boys need not have to play under pressure. We have somehow failed, but will try next time.


In order to regain lost glory, we sent the players to Nehru Stadium dormitories, as has been the practice in glorious days.


We even put the players in a shed in Hyderabad on transit where basic amenities were absent. After all, players should be taught to live in any condition.


As is the established tradition at least five new players were given international exposure and we assure five or more new faces in every forthcoming tournament. Even we went to the extent of fielding a player in Azlan Shah, who was not fit enough to figure in the PHL.


We will make everybody who holds a stick an international player come what may.


Our player commit the same mistake again and again. So what is the use of taking videos of their games. We do not intend to waste money.


Cynics often say Nationals are important, the coaches of winning teams should be given importance. We proved them wrong. Both Rajinder Singh Jr. and Narender Pal Singh failed. Is there a need to hold Nationals hereafter?


THE IHF HAS DONE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. WHY DOES INDIA STILL FAIL?